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): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the. He sat downnext to me and ordered a beer and nachos. Then looked over at me andasked" How's my favorite, straight guy, doing today?" Shawn was just abit gay. We started chit chatting and before long I started in on thewhole girlfriend moved saga. He was an amazing listener and added theappropriate "bitch", "No-Good", and 'Cunt" in all the right spots. In notime, a couple of hours went by. When I came back from using the men'sroom, Shawn gets up and says he's got to run, he's helping out at charitydrag event, where some of his friends are performing. He get's this goofylook and grabs my arm and says that I "Just have to go, there will be allthese single women there and drag shows always get them so stupid." Istart to tell him no, when he mentions that a mutual friend of ours,Heather, will be there. The asshole! He knew I had the hots for herforever.I drop my Harley off at Shawns on the way and ride over with him. I makea note to myself that Shawn's car is really nice, and he drives it.
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" Are you on d**gs, or are you just crazy?" the mother said, grabbing her daughter and beginning to move away. "Don't speak to us again, and don't try to follow us. I will spray you and I will call the police!"The mother hurried her daughter away from Joseph, leaving him standing there, completely confused. "My God," he thought, "am I going nuts?"That weekend, Joseph went to the cemetery to put flowers on the graves of his women. Again, he felt he was being watched. When he turned around, he saw her clearly. She was standing behind the next row of tombstones, wearing a simple shell top and slacks, facing him. "Hello," he said."Hello. Those are very nice flowers," Farrah said."They're for my 'girls'," Joseph said. "My grandmother, my mother, my wife, and my daughter are all here." I'm very sorry for all your losses," Farrah said."Do you have loved ones here?" Joseph asked."I came to visit my mother's grave," Farrah answered. "I've been away for years, but I used to come here often with.

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